I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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