Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
