I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
