I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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