I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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