No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
