It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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