you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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