I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
