The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All the doctor said was why
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
