Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
