Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
