I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He better not be in your backpack
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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