Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
