just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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