you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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