Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
