I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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