I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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