I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
