after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
