I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
