office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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