a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sext me about skeletons
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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