Having a random hookup so left but love u
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
