Its about making memories worth repressing
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
