I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
