I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
