Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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