ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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