R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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