giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
