okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
