She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
