she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
