Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
