rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
