physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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