the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
