it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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