I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love having hate sex.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
