so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
