Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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