I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
