beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think people are normalizing furries
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
