He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
