Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
