no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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