What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize