did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
