i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
