Non-Jews are for practice
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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